Friday, June 29, 2007

In-Care, Under-Care, Over-Care...Self-Care!

(Originally posted September, 2005).

My cielo and I are taking what we lovingly refer to as a "mental-health" day. As opposed to a "sick day", we are actually physically ok but worn out by the goings-on of the last few weeks.

First was my cielo finally being sworn in as a citizen on Sept. 1, an event which was preceded by two weeks of intense stress as the day of the interview and test approached. Of course that night we partied with friends, accompanied by the Oregon Symphony, in concert by the river, complete with the 1812 Overture, cannons, fireworks, and tequila shots included.

The next weekend we were off to Denver to visit Iliff, my new school where I'll be starting seminary in January. They were having fall orientation, so I got to meet my new classmates, professors, and staff. I met with my advisor, and we were able to be there for convocation. We also visited a VERY cool UCC church we are interested in attending once we move there. Everywhere we went we were welcomed warmly and openly, and we are thrilled to be moving there and excited about all the possibilities. The area is gorgeous, with plenty of sun.

Of course those 4-5 days in Denver were an emotional roller-coaster. I got up the first morning and threw up, I was so nervous (this is very much NOT like me, and it startled me a little). We are excited about moving to Denver and I am certain that this is the right step for me in terms of my calling and vocation, but nevertheless there's that little voice in my head wondering if I can really do it. Add all that to the deep grief of leaving our wonderful community at Bridgeport, and suddenly throwing up seems a perfectly logical response!

We went right back to work the day after we got home, and things are crazy there with staff out sick or on leave, a research project I'm working on, and an upcoming transition from paper charts to Electronic Medical Records, which has people at various levels of freaked-out-ed-ness.

That first day back I also had a wedding rehearsal that evening. Then on Saturday (just two days later), I met with the Central Pacific Conference to be interviewed for starting the in-care process for ordination as a minister. I'm always stressed out by these things, and my cielo says you can see the panic in my face (and she points out this is something I should work on...). But all went well, they laughed and nodded at all the right moments, which I took as a good sign. (And I was right...they said yes!)

From there we went right to the church for the wedding, reception, then home to collapse.

All last week we'd get home from work and I'd just collapse from tiredness. On Thursday and Saturday was our choir retreat, so that was 3 and 4 hours, respectively, of piano-playing straight. My cielo went off to Spokane on Friday with her best friend to help him move stuff back to Portland (he just finished school there), so I slept very poorly on Friday night. Every time the cats would jump off the bed onto the squeeky wood floor, I'd think somebody was trying to break in. (It helps to keep a big ol' baseball bat next to the bed, but only somewhat.)

Sunday afternoon we came come after church and both collapsed from tiredness. We got up, took a walk, had some supper on the way, came home, and fell asleep on the couch watching TV. Monday I was so tired at work, and sore from all the piano-playing, I went to bed early. And still yesterday I was just dragging ass at work, and very pissy. My cielo was feeling about the same, plus she'd strained her back somehow, and finally when we talked in the afternoon I said, "OK, that's it, we are NOT going to work tomorrow. We are going to call in, and sleep till our bodies decide to wake up. We are doing NOTHING tomorrow."

So, here we are. My cielo's been upstairs on the couch watching Ellen reruns on Oxygen, with a warm pack on her sore back, and I am down here catching up with little things and writing this. After a good long sleep, I am already feeling better. It's a beautiful day.

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