Sunday, July 1, 2007

Nobody Ever Told Me There'd Be Days Like This

(Originally posted June, 2007).

I'm pretty sure we didn't talk about this in preaching class...

I've been low energy the last few days, fighting off a couple of bugs, driving to Colorado Springs for a rather disappointing conference meeting (don't get me started), really needing a break from thinking and writing. I finally finished my sermon last night at about I ever going to figure out a better schedule?'s not bad...maybe not the greatest ever but it'll do.

Just feeling blah.

Woke up this morning, still feeling blah. Discovered why (need I say more, ladies?). Great. And on top of blah, now I'm crampy, too. Two ibuprofen with my cofee and cheerios please, because...

...I still have to go to church, be cheerful, pretend like I'm happy to be there...and I *am* happy to be there, on some level. I'd just rather be curled up in the bed for a few more hours. I feel strangely absent...the funny bits fall it me? is it just one of those days? Hard to tell.

Preach the sermon...little voice inside my head, that seems to thrive this time of the month, chattering away..."well, this isn't going over very well...more energy! more energy! but don't sound fake! or angry! I bet that little old lady on the back row still can't hear you -- speak up! That line fell flat, boy you suck today...what are you thinking, that you can do this every week? Maybe they're tired of you already...maybe they wish they were back in bed, too..."

A lovely way to spend the morning, really...not.