Monday, August 6, 2007


My counselor assigned me homework to do over this past week, part of which I have left undone because, well, it just seemed pointless. I'm supposed to make a list of things which help me get out of those foggy times, self-care practices and whatnot and it's been a week and I see her tomorrow and I'm just thinking, why? If these things actually worked, wouldn't I feel better already? Wouldn't I have not started feeling bad to begin with?

This of course assumes that I do these things with some regularity, which, sometimes, I don't, which is probably how I got in this state to begin with, although in the last month or so I've been trying but it's not working. At least it feels that way today.

I'm a protestant, for God's sake. Salvation through works is not one of our strong points.

Then again, when it comes to depression, just having faith that I'll wake up tomorrow feeling better isn't working, either.

So, let's assume that my counselor knows what she's doing, and make the list. Sigh.

Things which supposedly help Towanda not lose to the demon fog:
  • Getting enough rest.
  • Read novels, not just school-type books that are overworking just one set of brain muscles.
  • Prayer, including my own invented "rosary," which helps stop the spinning mind.
  • Keep making dates with friends so I don't go completely inside.
  • Practice thankfulness.
  • Ask my cielo to rub my head.
  • Breathing exercises.
  • Talk, don't just keep shit inside.
  • Write it out.
  • Protect some time before going to sleep so I'm not going straight from studying to bed.
  • Eat healthy.
  • Go for walks (these last two are the first to go when I'm feeling down).
  • Keep telling self that if people love me, there must be some reason why (even if I can't think of one at the moment).
That's all I can think of for now. We'll see what happens tomorrow.