Sunday, July 1, 2007

Here You Go

(Originally posted June, 2007).

She dared me to post this:

I just spent a lovely couple or so hours with CoolPastor, who played hooky from the one meeting at her conference gathering where she was actually able to vote, so she could hang out with me. We had a great time, kicking off our sandals and curling into a deep leather couch in the "pub" in the lobby (psst, don't tell the Methodists, but there's a pub in the middle of the conference meeting space!).

I wish I'd been with her in the morning. She actually wore pantyhose and high heels for the very official clergy vote on whether or not she and her compatriots should be commissioned (not ordained, yet) as pastors (or something like that. I don't quite understand all the hoops Methodists have to jump through to finally get my dear New Testament professor Richard Valantasis used to say, It takes longer for a Methodist to get ordained than for a nun to life profess -- and they're giving up sex! I mean come on people, you should know by now, CoolPastor is indeed very cool, and you'd be lucky to have her. Just ordain her already and get it over with!).

I digress. Let's see. Ah yes, pantyhose -- which she had bought just for the occasion -- and high heels. So. She's up on the stage for the vote, smiling and, I'm sure, glowing, as she is wont to do. The vote happens and she sits down. On the second row. About five feet from the bishop.

And proceeds to take off her pantyhose.

I can't really do justice to the way she told me how she did this, but suffice to say it required some strategic squirming and odd looks from her husband. Finally, they stand up for a hymn, and -- whip! -- gets them off.

She had been waiting all day to tell me this story. I have to say, I'm impressed with her gutsiness. Is that one Cool Pastor, or what??

She also taught me a new word: assholic (pronounced "asshole-ic"). As in, "I was going to be assholic about [a situation], but decided not to."

I love CoolPastor!!

UPDATE: I've just come from her commissioning, and indeed, she was glowing. There may be a lot of hoops through which to jump, but I have to say, the service was very moving. And I was so pleased to stand up for her. xoxoxo, CoolPastor!

1 comment:

  1. (original post comments)
    hipchickmamma Says:
    wow! i’m impressed! coolpastor sounds great! taking off pantyhose in front of a crowd! amazing!

    Towanda Says:
    She IS great — and not just for this!

    Wendy Says:
    OH! That’s what you meant by tag…well, since I’m such a poor game player and like to break rules, I’m only going to give YOU the 8 things:

    1) I used to make up stories to put myself to sleep as a kid. My favorite was that I was adopted by a couple of anthropologists and we lived in Egypt and I had servants who would wash my back!

    2.) I once wanted to be a beautician

    3) I almost joined a pyramid cult in college

    4) I adore the sound of neighbor children giggling uncontrollably in the emerald light of a summer evening

    5) I watch CSI before going to bed and don’t have nightmares

    6) I dreamed last night that Fred Savage from the Wonder Years bought my house but didn’t let me take my dog Sweetpea, so I had to sneak in a night and steal my Sweetpea.

    7) While teaching at the art school I bought one piece of student art work every year.

    8) I have a scar on my knee from a bike accident in 4th grade. I had 22 stitches and was on crutches while we took a family vacation to WA DC. I got to ride through the Smithsonians in a wheel chair.


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